BoldLust Page 3

  She was sweet and smart and that was exactly why he should stay away from the woman.

  Once she felt the way his loving could make her feel, she’d be ruined for any other man, or she’d run the other way and never be able to look at him the same again. Either way, it wouldn’t end well.

  “It’s just soup made with fish and tomatoes and some potatoes and onions.” She smiled and his heart took a nosedive. Shit, this was going to be hard.

  “If it tastes half as good as it smells, I’ll be happy.” Carter worked at keeping the conversation light and easy and on the topic of the food as he set the bowls and spoons in each of their spots and put the tray onto the floor.

  What he really wanted to taste was her, wanted to lick between her legs until she screamed his name, begged for release. Shit. He shook his head, trying to shake out the inappropriate thoughts. He couldn’t have Kate. And he sure as hell shouldn’t be thinking about her like he was. She was his employee, nothing more.

  “I think you’ll be happy with it.” She said the words simply, but there was nothing simple about the way he felt. Everything about it was complex, but he was a strong man and wouldn’t do anything inappropriate for the circumstances.

  Sometimes he was too damn strong for his own good. Carter was pretty sure he could convince Kate to be his. The attraction in her eyes was obvious, and he felt it in her touch. Carter could fuck her and get it out of his system, but there was no way it would be that easy. Not with a girl like Kate.

  Here he was in the same position he just left, falling for a woman he couldn’t have. He had given up his pirating ways, started a legitimate business with the money from his last, but he would always be without the proper connections to be a part of the elite society. Damn if he had any interest in their ass-smooching ways anyhow.

  Kate obviously came from a wealthy family. He questioned what she was doing here working for him and why her fiancé left her alone in this town, but he had enough of his own problems to worry about. He had to run this business and was working on his next, the start-up of a mill in this town. There would be a lot of people looking for work soon, when their money ran out and the gold didn’t come, and he would be there to help them. It was also his chance at a legitimate career, a life where he could keep a woman like Kate and live a normal existence. He wouldn’t take his eye off the goal.

  Alaska was different, wild, unwilling to bend to the rules of more polite societies, and the perfect place for him to make a new start. But Kate probably wouldn’t last long in a place like this.

  “I’m sure I will like it.” His hand brushed against hers as he reached for a napkin and a spark shot through him causing his cock to go half hard. Fuck. It was going to be a long damn summer.

  “I hope so.” Kate smiled and could feel herself blushing.

  The soup did taste good. She had tested it out before she brought it up. She didn’t want to bring him anything that wasn’t perfect, didn’t want to disappoint Carter. It shouldn’t matter that much, but he was her boss.

  Now if she could just convince herself that it was the only reason, that she didn’t have some hidden desire to impress the man.

  “How do you like living in Ketchikan, Alaska, Kate?” he asked. It seemed like an innocent question, just simple conversation, but it felt like something else, like he was studying her.

  “It’s okay.” She didn’t want to tell him the truth, tell him that she hated it here, wished that Sean had never talked her into this adventure and that this job was the only good thing about this town so far and her ticket out.

  “I hope you learn to love it here.” He said the words that let her know he somehow knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling.

  And why did she like the fact that he understood her so well without her having to explain anything to him?

  “Yeah, I hope so too.” It would be a long summer if she didn’t. “What brought you to Ketchikan, Carter?” Kate asked partly to move the conversation from her and partly because she was curious about the man. His burly body made him fit in here with the prospectors because he was rugged. But he wasn’t here to search for gold like everyone else. He had started a business, was making money the hard way when everyone else was looking for the easy way out.

  Not that anyone here looked like they really had it easy. The prospectors were dirty and down when they came back. No one in this town had a stress-free life.

  “I was looking for a new start in a new town.” He bent his head forward and took a sip of soup, and she sensed he wasn’t comfortable with the topic. “Thought I’d try something different, start up a business.”

  She didn’t really want to tell her pathetic story either.

  “Do you like it here?” she asked. It was better to talk about him than her.

  “I do. The scenery is amazing.” The way he stared at her as he said the words made her think he wasn’t talking about the mountains, and it had a potent effect on her body.

  She shouldn’t be feeling this way, shouldn’t be enjoying the way he talked to her or the way he looked at her, shouldn’t be enjoying the connection she had with this man so much.

  It wasn’t appropriate, at least it didn’t feel appropriate. But was that solely because he was a good-looking man? Could she have this same relationship with a woman or an ugly man and not have any guilt? Probably.

  They hadn’t done anything inappropriate, just had interesting conversation and got along well. She still was and would stay loyal to Sean because that was the type of woman she was. The inappropriateness of the situation was all in her head, not real.

  Kate forced herself to relax, forced herself to just enjoy having a conversation of interest. Carter was a good man and she shouldn’t feel guilty about it. They could have a connection, could have a friendship, and it wouldn’t be wrong.

  But it sure as hell didn’t feel right either, and she just hoped the strange feelings would end soon.

  Chapter Five

  It had been three weeks since Kate had started working for Carter and three weeks and one day since she had come to Alaska. This place was actually starting to feel like home. It wasn’t home, but living between the ocean and mountains provided a peace and serenity she had never felt before. Alaska also buzzed with adventure. It was an entirely different life than what she was used to, but it was more relaxing, more fulfilling than she had ever expected.

  Work had been going well. A little tense, but good. She had successfully resisted her attraction to Carter and made some money, and that was all that really mattered.

  Today was another day of work. Kate finished dressing, and as she walked down the stairs someone knocked at the door.

  “I’ll get it,” she said to no one. Opal would still be sound asleep and Emma was out at her claim.

  A short, dark-haired man, covered in mud and looking like he hadn’t had a bath in weeks, stood in front of the house. “Are you Kate Baker?” He fidgeted nervously in the doorway and his nervousness affected Kate.

  “I am,” she answered but kept her distance from the man.

  “Sean O’Riley asked me to bring this to you.” He reached out a dirty hand with a crinkled-up envelope and held it toward her.

  Kate reached out and took it from him. “Thank you.” She tried to be polite but his presence made her more than a little nervous. It was partly the way he looked at her and partly her curiosity as to why in the world Sean would be writing her a letter. None of it felt right.

  The man didn’t say anything else but tipped his hat and then walked quickly away.

  Kate took a deep breath and shut the front door. Her hands shook as she opened the seam at the top.

  If he was writing to her it meant he wasn’t dead, but a bad feeling settled in the pit of her stomach anyway. Kate pulled the thin piece of paper out of the envelope and unfolded it.

  Dearest Kate,

  I am writing to let you know that I have fallen in love with another woman. I know you want to return to the city, a
nd after spending time here, I know that I can never go back there. I have met a woman in one of the villages nearby, and she has invited me to live with her. I didn’t want you staying and waiting unnecessarily for me. I am sorry, but sometimes life and love work in unexpected ways. I hope you can forgive me.

  Sean

  Forgive him? Kate reread the letter. It couldn’t be true. He couldn’t have found another woman already.

  He had only been gone for three weeks. He must have found someone new right away to think it could be love. Couldn’t Sean go for more than a few days without getting his cock wet in another woman? How could he have fallen in love so quickly? And how could he have the audacity to ask her to forgive him?

  Kate had followed him to this godforsaken place out of loyalty. She’d come here just to make him happy, and this was what she got? I’ve fallen in love with someone else. Forgive me?

  Sean had some nerve.

  She had been strong enough to resist the temptation of Carter this whole time while Sean was doing whatever he wanted with another woman. It was enough to make her blood boil.

  The clock in the living room chimed, reminding Kate that she needed to be at work soon. Hopefully Carter would have plenty of things to keep her busy today, keep her mind off the betrayal by Sean.

  It was funny, though. She didn’t feel heartbreak like she should in losing the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. Just anger at his infidelity.

  It didn’t matter right now, though. She had to go to work, tell Carter she was leaving and move on with life after this huge mistake of a trip. Kate would be on her way back home soon, and it was a damn good thing she had taken this job so she could provide her own fare back. Sean was obviously done taking care of her.

  When she arrived at the shop, there were no customers waiting and Carter was probably upstairs working on something.

  She loved watching him work. He had this intense look on his face she found intriguing. Sometimes when she took up his lunch, she would stand in the doorway watching for a minute. Carter never noticed.

  “Good morning.” His voice came from the top of the stairs and the rhythmic pounding sound meant he was coming down.

  Carter moved with such grace, prowess, head always held high. Kate normally had to avoid noticing it but for the first time, she didn’t have to hide from her feelings for him. It wouldn’t matter much, though. She would only stay in Alaska for as long as it took her to earn the rest of her fare back home and to find a ship that would take her.

  “Good morning.” She held back the smile that always wanted to form at the sight of him, but for a different reason this morning.

  Kate had to be up front with Carter. He would need to start looking soon in order to find a replacement for her.

  “I’m going to be leaving Alaska soon.” Kate couldn’t look him in the eye but moved her focus to the wooden floor.

  “Why?” Concern was evident in his voice.

  She didn’t want to have to explain her circumstances to him, but it was only natural for Carter to be curious, to want some kind of explanation.

  “I only came to Alaska because the man who proposed marriage to me wanted an adventure.” She folded her arms across her chest. The whole story seemed pretty feeble. She hated having to admit her pitiful situation aloud. “I just got a letter from him today that he’s fallen in love with someone else. There’s really no reason for me to stay much longer.”

  “I’m sorry.” Carter didn’t move toward Kate, didn’t touch her like she had hoped.

  She wanted him to hold her in those strong arms, wanted him to tell her everything was going to be okay. It wasn’t his spot. She knew that.

  But there was compassion in his eyes, and it gave her comfort to see that this man she’d only met three weeks ago genuinely cared about her.

  Carter was giving her more than Sean, who’d written a heartless letter to break off their engagement. He wasn’t man enough to do it in person. Not that she was surprised.

  “Thank you.” She appreciated Carter’s support but there was more to the feeling, something deeper. It probably wasn’t appropriate. She was still his employee, nothing more.

  “I don’t know why any man in his right mind could consider leaving you. You’re smart, and beautiful, and kind and everything I would look for in a woman.”

  What did he mean by would look for in a woman? He wasn’t married. He had told her that much. Did he have a woman he loved somewhere waiting for him? Someone who refused to move to the rugged Alaskan wilderness as Kate should have?

  He was offering her comfort but his eyes said he would like to offer so much more. If she was reading his signals correctly, that was. Maybe she had completely imagined his interest in her. Grasping at something to make herself feel better about life.

  “You are very sweet.” She looked away from him and moved behind the table before she did something stupid, said something she would regret, made a fool out of herself in a moment of weakness.

  “You deserve better than him, whoever he was. Keep that beautiful smile on your face and know that it was better that it happened now rather than after you were married to the man.”

  “Yes. You’re probably right about that.” Maybe this was a lucky thing. She wanted to marry Sean, but not because either of them was head over heels in love. Marrying Sean was the sensible thing to do. It was what her family wanted, what both of their families wanted. She was just doing what was expected of her, settling down and having children with the man chosen for his good breeding and money.

  It had been gnawing at her gut since she first got the letter, that feeling of relief that came with the realization that she wouldn’t have to marry Sean. Not that anyone was forcing her into it, she had agreed, but there had been a lot of pressure to say yes. Now that she didn’t have that, a whole world of freedom dropped down on her.

  Carter grabbed her hand in his, squeezed it and rubbed the skin of her palm with his thumb. The electricity that shot through her body was not completely surprising, but it was unnerving. She thought she had felt a connection with him, but the intensity of it was more than she expected.

  “I… Thank you.” She didn’t know what exactly she was thanking him for. His comfort? For showing her she wasn’t dead, that there were other opportunities out there?

  Alaska didn’t follow the same rules as the rest of the world. She could have whoever she wanted for a husband here. She could have someone she was passionate about. Kate could make her own choices for the first time in her life and pick someone like Carter. Her family would hate that. He was rugged, and although he did have money, he hadn’t come upon it the old-fashioned way, he actually earned it.

  And that was a hell of a lot harder than the way her family had it. They just had to sit on it and not lose the money that had been handed down to them generation after generation.

  Carter worked hard, made good business choices and made his way to the top. Her family wouldn’t respect that the way she did, but going along with her family’s choice hadn’t worked out all that great for her the first time. She could do what she wanted when she was up here, away from their influence, their pressure. She could explore her feelings for Carter.

  There was definitely a strong attraction, on her part anyway. But she didn’t know if Carter had any interest in her. Did he feel the same electricity when he touched her?

  The buzzing sent surges straight to her core now, starting a completely inappropriate tingling between her legs. He was powerful, masculine and intense, and as hard as she had worked to ignore it before, her body was completely giving into the sensations. If just his touching her hand could have this much impact, what would it be like when he touched her other places? Was he even interested in that?

  Asking him straight out was the only way to find out if he felt any of the attraction. But could she be that forward?

  “I was wondering…” Kate stopped as the door to the shop squeaked open and Betsy walked in.


  “You were wondering what?” Carter asked, his eyes intent on her, ignoring the fact that he had a customer.

  “We can talk about it later.” Kate let out a frustrated breath. It took some nerve to even begin asking. She wasn’t the type of girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. It wasn’t polite to be talking about such things, but she needed to feel wanted again and needed to find out the truth before she wasted any more of her time.

  Then Better-Than-Thou Betsy just had to show up at the worst possible time. The woman never bought anything but came in every other day to look around and visit. Kate had no choice but to talk with her. It was her job.

  “Is there anything I can help you find today, Betsy?” Kate put on her happy-to-help-you smile and did her best to pretend her life wasn’t falling apart. It wouldn’t be good to let Betsy know anything was wrong. The woman would be on her, unrelenting in her search for information if she knew there was any interesting gossip to be had.

  Kate had no need for Betsy or her gossip. She especially didn’t want everyone in town knowing her drama. The fewer people who knew her pathetic situation, the better, and if Betsy knew, everyone would know within the day.

  Carter hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. Kate could tell he didn’t want to leave her. She didn’t want him to leave either, but there was no way any of this conversation was going to happen in front of Betsy. There was no choice but to put it on hold.

  “We’ll talk more later,” she said to assure him, to get him to go upstairs to work.

  And Kate was left alone with Betsy.

  “Do you have any new materials in?” Betsy asked in her annoying, nasal I’m-better-than-everyone-in-this-town voice.

  “Not since you were here last.” No ships had come into town since yesterday, Betsy knew very well that there was nothing new, nothing she needed, but that didn’t stop her from asking. Again.